I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
