Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
