Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
