so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We had sex on a dog bed..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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