I think my fart just growled at me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
