so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
