come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
