i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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