he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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