I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize