Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
