Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
