I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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