I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
