Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
