I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
