She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
