just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
