He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
