tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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