It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize