You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I AM VODKA MAN
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
