You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
