i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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