Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
