i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
