i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
