we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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