nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How external is "for external use only"?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
