i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize