I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
