Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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