dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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