I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
