as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
be right there i have to get my cape
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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