I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
