spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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