I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
