I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
