Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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