i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
