i think i have two assholes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
