Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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