we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do vagina's smell?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize