it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
