so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
