a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize