She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
