I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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