Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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