it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize