I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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