filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
