He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So squirting runs in the family.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
