oh god the rape fog is back!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize