Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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