Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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