I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
