What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
