Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize