You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
